As so many practiced diplomats
So too your vaunted laureates
Whose access to the higher rungs
Of a cultural priesthood is hinged upon their flair for sophistry

Well, I vote you the best equipped
To shrink from speech that might suggest
Any thoughts your key target market might
Not have already signed off on and ratified

And I vote you most likely to clutter your language with
So much dead wood that no
Amount of pruning will reveal
Your intensive, protracted campaign of saying

Nothing at all
Your daydream of black-tie affairs at Rideau Hall
Your acceptance speech
Your dramatic pause

And don't forget to thank those
Bitter ex-musicians-cum-embedded
Rock journalists frantically applauding
The latest artist-formerly-known-as

Iconoclast, giddy from the fumes of a fresh defection
Moping to the maudlin beat of a hat rack rhythm section
A tacit understanding of mutual non-aggression
Enjoyed by every nauseating do-nothing functionary

It's not so much the incessant ruse of
Assigning profound meaning to the
Meaningless curious you decorate your sets with
In your extraordinarily mundane fictions

It's the arrogance of the subtext, the province of human affairs
Is a field best left
To dilettantes with an extraordinary gift
For the feigning of paralysis

Nothing at all, your daydreams
Of black-tie affairs at Rideau Hall
Your acceptance speech
Sustained applause

**This lyrics is not for commercial use**